Culture Wars

As he brushed by me on the heavily trafficked sidewalk, my automatic response was vigilance. I wanted to keep my eye on this man, to make sure he did not pull any suspicious moves. However, after he brought food over to his wife and children, interacting lovingly with them, I was deeply disappointed with myself.

You see, under normal circumstances, I am extra alert when someone in a crowd makes any sort of bodily contact with me. I see myself as an equal-opportunity kind of guy; I don't trust anyone, no matter what color they are. But something unique about this man made me watch him with heightened suspicion. Maybe it was the turban on his head, or his long beard; perhaps it was his golden skin. Either way, I was confronted with my own depravity.

Our brilliant friends in the media and in Washington have programmed us to view Muslims/Mid-Easterners as prone to violence, creating an internal response that would allow a fair-minded human to watch another with suspicion. It's the same treatment they gave German-Americans during World War I, as well as Japanese-Americans in World War II, even the ones that wanted nothing to do with the conflict.

To those of you who have heard the arguments against Islam, the arguments which caricature a power-hungry, anything-goes militarism, I would say, "Be careful." If you use this argument against them, it will come right back at you. Consider this entirely hypothetical conversation between a white conservative evangelical American and an Arab Muslim from Saudi Arabia:

American: "You people have no value for a human life! How could you take your women and children, and strap a suicide bomb to them?"
Arab: "For the same reasons that you rape yours."

Some points to consider:

-Every culture has its sins. While we hear of bombs going off everywhere in some parts of the world, our own sexually-charged culture has fanned the flames of an ugly epidemic right here in America.

-Just because some sins run rampant within a culture, we cannot assume that ALL within that culture follow suit. All Muslims are not militant any more than all Americans are rapists.

-There are problems within our own contexts with which we need to deal. This involves more than simply showing up to an abortion clinic with protest signs. That accomplishes NOTHING. What we need is more support for those good causes that keep people from falling so far through the cracks that they have nowhere else to turn. It involves supporting Crisis Pregnancy Centers. It involves building relationships with and being a mentor to people who do not have a good example, who may possibly turn to these sins if we sit back and let them.

-Profiling, though supposedly justified by the FBI, has no place within our private lives. We in this country have a problem getting along with people from different backgrounds. It's time we stop doing those things that cause separation and start doing those things that foster understanding.

New Stuff, Etc.

Given the harsh feedback from last week's heresy, it is occurring to me that maybe I'm losing my touch. I mean, I forgot the disclaimer, for crying out loud. The disclaimer!!! So, here you go:

***DISCLAIMER***
The views of this column are not endorsed by the Catholic Church...
not yet, anyway.
*******************

Regarding this page, I rechristened it "danandtiff," added a subtitle, and created some great links. These links represent webpages of friends who have been on this website. If you would like us to add your webpage to our links section, simply leave a comment so that I can copy and paste your URL.

Finally, I would like to say that I have appreciated some of the discussion and feedback that has occurred here, and would encourage everyone to keep it up. Just remember to respect each other's opinions, and be fair when criticizing. I usually do not interfere with anyone's freedom of speech and from now on will not delete comments unless they represent an attack on someone else, or for another reason are deemed out of line. I will continue to delete shameless advertisements for crap.
So what is the criteria for "out of line"?
Just remember:
Dan giveth.
Dan can taketh away...
and Tiff telleth Dan what she wanteth and what she doth wanteth to be ridden of.

Dan's Heresy #2: Fast Mass

Living in this day and age, I cannot help but notice the remarkable pace by which we in this country live our lives. Everything, from food to communication, has developed an expectation of promptness. If it does not get done in a short time, we complain.

I was also doing some thinking about the Church. I have noticed that the Church has not done a tremendous job in staying relevant with this trend. I believe I have come up with a simple solution to this problem. Though I am not Catholic, this solution will best serve the Catholic Church.

What is this solution, you ask? A drive-thru sacrament station! Think about it...it would solve a number of problems. People could get their sacraments done quickly, and it would keep the priests out of much of the trouble they have been getting into!

Here's a hypothetical, though possible scenario:

"Hi, welcome to Fast Mass! Would you like to try any of our combo specials?"
"No thanks, I'll just take one confession and two baptisms."
"Would you like any Eucharist with that?"
"Uh, sure...Give me two."
"Please pull around to the window."

At the window:
"Hi...That will be 10% of your income...would you like to sign up for our direct payment program, so that your tithe could come right out of your account?"
"Um...no thanks."
"All right. Go ahead."
"Bless me, Father, for I have sinned [etc.]."
"[sprinkles with Holy Water]...in the name of the Father, Son, etc...
The Body and Blood of Christ. Have a nice day!"

That's right, ladies and gentlemen! Get all the grace you need to get closer to God in less than 10 minutes per week! Maximum results for minimum effort! Can you think of a better way to get people into church?


Rate this heresy:

1 - Safe for the whole family!
2 - Not bad, but I've heard better heresy from Billy Graham
3 - Now THAT's heretical!
4 - Dan, you're going to heck in a handbasket.
5 - I'm going to hell just for reading this

Coming up next time: more solutions to the world's problems