If Pat Robertson never opened his mouth again, I would be an extremely happy man.
What this guy represents is a fading minority of believers who somehow think they have the right to speak for God. I'm not even talking about people who take what God already said and give it their own interpretation, as the people who think the whole book of Revelation is an end time prophecy, soon to come true (which could be a whole different blog). I'm referring to those who put words in God's mouth that He did not even say.
A great example of this is those "God" billboards that seem to pop up everywhere. My personal favorite is, "What part of 'Thou shalt not' don't you understand?" Based on the tone of this statement, we might as well finish it: "What part of 'Thou shalt not' don't you understand, you stupid dumbass?!" I could be wrong, but I do not believe God would ever say anything like that to anyone; yet the genius who created this somehow saw fit to attribute this quote to none other than God Himself.
But what really gets under my skin is when people like Pat Robertson take current events and interpret them through a deterministic lense--basically, God causes everything. When the buildings when down on 9/11, Robertson came out and said that God is judging us because of all the homosexuals in our country. In the wake of Hurricane Katrina, many of Robertson's disciples are saying that the hurricane ravaged New Orleans because of the sin that exists down there.
Maybe I am ignorant, or maybe I do not know God like I thought I did. However, if you contend that New Orleans got what was coming to them, you have to also say that the priests, nuns, and other God-fearers in the surrounding parishes were not living right. From there, you must defend the argument that those folks in the Bible belt in Mississippi deserved what they got.
Can you make sense of this logic? I certainly cannot. It is time for people to stop using God to advance their own personal, political, or other agendas and start figuring out how they fit into God's agenda. It is time for people to stop rejoicing at others' supposed judgment, and start realizing that we are all imperfect, unworthy of anything good. And it is time for people to stop putting words that God never said in His mouth, and start listening to what He already said.
If we pay close attention, we might hear Him say, "I was hungry and you gave me food; I was thirsty and you gave me drink. I was a stranger and you welcomed me; I was naked and you clothed me; I was sick and you visited me; I was in prison and you came to me...as you did to one of the least of these you did to me" (Matt. 25:35-36, 40). "Wait a minute...do you actually mean helping out those victims of the hurricane, as wicked and evil as they are, would be the same as helping Christ?!" I don't want to put words in God's mouth, but I think this is what He is trying to say.
Let those of us who represent God represent Him for who He really is, so that people may come to know who He really is. Then, maybe Pat Robertson can stop talking, so that Jesus Christ can actually be heard.
9.16.2005
4.11.2005
"Update #1: Worship-Teque" by Dan
Sunday marked a significant day in my career as a worship leader. For the first time ever, as far as I know, techno music was used in worship. That's right, ladies and gentlemen, techno. The song was "How Firm a Foundation." "But wait a second! You can't use techno in church!" Why not? "You just don't!!!" Hold on, here, did they not say the same thing when we brought in Rock and Roll? "Well that was different!"
Most of the feedback I received from this stunt was positive, although I am sure not everyone loved it. I believe that for most people, it simply caught them so much by surprise that they did not know what to think. It is probably safe to bet that the old lady sitting in the third row did not enjoy the experience; but she hates my music anyway, and loves me as a person, which is all perfectly fine with me.
In other news, concerning this blog, I will try to be consistent and post something new every Monday. Whether it be an update, a deep thought, a devotion, or a heresy will all depend on how I am feeling that week (but don't worry, there will be plenty of variety). For those of who who may be wondering when the next heresy will arrive, I will aim for once every four weeks (though some would argue that it's heresy every time I open my mouth). For those of you wondering if last week's heresy got me in trouble with Tiffany, the answer is, "Yes, dear!"
Most of the feedback I received from this stunt was positive, although I am sure not everyone loved it. I believe that for most people, it simply caught them so much by surprise that they did not know what to think. It is probably safe to bet that the old lady sitting in the third row did not enjoy the experience; but she hates my music anyway, and loves me as a person, which is all perfectly fine with me.
In other news, concerning this blog, I will try to be consistent and post something new every Monday. Whether it be an update, a deep thought, a devotion, or a heresy will all depend on how I am feeling that week (but don't worry, there will be plenty of variety). For those of who who may be wondering when the next heresy will arrive, I will aim for once every four weeks (though some would argue that it's heresy every time I open my mouth). For those of you wondering if last week's heresy got me in trouble with Tiffany, the answer is, "Yes, dear!"
4.07.2005
Dan's Heresy #1: What REALLY Happened in the Garden
Most of us are familiar with the Garden of Eden story. The serpent tempted Eve, Eve took the fruit, Eve gave it to Adam, and God kicked them out. However, as I researched the topic, I have made a breakthrough discovery.
I made this profound discovery while eating with Tiffany while we were just dating. Though she had not finished her food, she said that she could not eat any more. She then offered it to me. As I took it and ate, I felt an incredible sense of fulfilled existence. I felt that I was performing my manly duty by finishing the food that my woman could not.
As I realized my purpose, it occured to me that the same scenario had played out in the Garden. It does not make sense that Eve would say, "Hey Adam, take a bite of this FORBIDDEN fruit that God told us not to eat!" No, rather, I believe that what happened was that Eve was tempted, ate the fruit, and then said, "Adam, I'm full! Can you finish this apple for me?" Adam, not realizing the mess he was about to get all humanity into, simply behaved in accordance to how God had created him.
The rest, as they say, is history. Ever since then, humanity has been in a huge mess. Men have never ceased to be simple creatures who have a fascination with eating, and women have never ceased to...well, never mind.
I made this profound discovery while eating with Tiffany while we were just dating. Though she had not finished her food, she said that she could not eat any more. She then offered it to me. As I took it and ate, I felt an incredible sense of fulfilled existence. I felt that I was performing my manly duty by finishing the food that my woman could not.
As I realized my purpose, it occured to me that the same scenario had played out in the Garden. It does not make sense that Eve would say, "Hey Adam, take a bite of this FORBIDDEN fruit that God told us not to eat!" No, rather, I believe that what happened was that Eve was tempted, ate the fruit, and then said, "Adam, I'm full! Can you finish this apple for me?" Adam, not realizing the mess he was about to get all humanity into, simply behaved in accordance to how God had created him.
The rest, as they say, is history. Ever since then, humanity has been in a huge mess. Men have never ceased to be simple creatures who have a fascination with eating, and women have never ceased to...well, never mind.
****************************DISCLAIMER***************************
The views represented in this column are not endorsed by blogger.com, Ashland Theological Seminary, bible scholars anywhere, the Catholic Church, most Protestants, the ACLU, women, Tiffany, Dan's friends, God, or even Dan.
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